Things Not Yet Seen

We found out yesterday that our home study was going to expire next month. Disappointment set in. It's been almost a year that we've been waiting for the phone call that would inform us that our family would be growing to a family of four. Waiting has been hard. Actually, I don't know that hard is a sufficient word for what our wait has been. The last year has had so many ups and downs and yet the Lord has been constant. His Word and His character are the same. The book of James says that with God there is no variation or shadow due to change.


"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.
Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures."
James 1:12-18


So, last night as I laid in bed, I prayed. I spilled my guts to the Lord! After all, does He not already know what's in my heart? Scripture is clear that He does! It's also clear that when I don't know how to express my thoughts to the Lord because I'm overcome with emotion too great to articulate a thought, the Lord has given me a Helper to intercede on my behalf. This week, I have been ever grateful for my Helper.


"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified."
Romans 8:26-30 


So, what do we do? Well, we choose to hope. It's something that I've been thinking about on and off for months. The Lord has often brought this word to mind when I've faced discouragement.


"Hope? In what?", you might ask.


Well, a few things. We hope in the fact that the Lord means to use our circumstances to edify and sanctify His children. He uses them to conform us more to the image of His Son.


"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified."
Romans 8:28-30 


We hope more in heaven. Hope is, after all, said to be something not seen.


"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience."
Romans 8:18-25


So, I spent my morning making A LOT of phone calls, updating info, and requesting background checks. As my day crept on the Lord, in His kindness, refreshed my soul and has encouraged hope to sprout from it's rooted soil of my heart. I'm so thankful in the Lord's foreknowledge and soverign care for my soul. He knew I would need the encouragement to hope in Him and His faithfulness to His children today, and weeks and months ago started planting seeds of scripture, HIS WORDS, in my heart. Praise God for a Creator who doesn't leave His creation to walk this world alone. I'm so thankful for His father-like care for His children! Today I feel like the Lord's arms are gently comforting me. I feel like His kind eyes have locked with mine and they are telling me to wait patiently... to wait for Him to act because He knows what is good for our family. He wants me to hope.


More than hoping for a child to be added to our family He wants me, His child, to hope in a greater life than this world can offer. He wants my heart to LONG FOR HEAVEN more than it longs for a bigger family. Over the last year I've dealt with a decent amount of loss. Loss of ideas of what I thought should be, loss of children to be added to our family, and loss in the form of death. It's almost sad to admit, but all of this loss has caused me to hope for and long for heaven more. It's caused me to step back and ask myself why I long for heaven now, when things are taken away in this life, and why I didn't long for heaven more before. The Lord's kindness has allowed me to see where I was lacking and spurred me on think more rightly about what it means to hope in something, especially Him and His working.


So, I ask you, what do you hope in in this life? Is it your own works? Your kind acts to others? Do you hope in another's kind acts to you? If you answer yes to these questions, or if you don't know how to answer these questions, I ask you to consider your life and where you stand in relation to the God who created you. Do you desire to rule your life and it's goings on or do you live your life in faith in the One who rules over all things? For more on this subject, click here. My prayer is that you will be able to claim these words with the other saints who have believed in the Lord Jesus with faith and hope:


"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you."
Romans 8:1-11

Picture of the flowers blooming on our weekend in Brown Co., IN

A Very Important Anniversary

Today started as any other day starts for me. This morning I sat on the couch eating breakfast, checking my e-mail, and watching the news. Then, I looked down at the calendar and noticed what day it was. February 10th! I don't know how I could have forgotten such an important day in the life of our family, but I did. Part of me felt like a bit of a failure. February 10, 2011 is the day that Sam and I officially became the parents of our daughter. It was a day that was filled with such joy and excitement. A day full of thankfulness and contentment. It was the day that we had longed and hoped for.


22 months. That's how long it took for the cabinet of Kentucky to go through trial and error with Rebekah's birth parents, to decide that she would have the best opportunity for growth and safety if she were permanently in our home, and for us to get a court date to make her adoption official. Those months were long and hard. Emotionally, they were draining. But, being on the other side of those months, we wouldn't trade them for anything. The God who created Sam and I knew exactly what we could handle. He knew how to use our circumstances to press us and mold us. He used the trials of those months to grow us and conform us more into the image of His Son.  The author of the book of James reminds us of how a Christian should approach trails in our lives: 


"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
James 1:2-4 ESV


The Lord used our trials to produce steadfastness. He showed Sam and me the ability that we had to care for and love each other. Though those months were difficult, we're thankful for them and better people because of them. Adopting Rebekah doesn't mean that our struggles to grow our family have slowed by any means and I'm thankful for our past experiences to look back and learn from, remember, and be encouraged by God's work in our lives. 


Each year, on our wedding anniversary, Sam and I take time to review the last years events, remember the Lord's faithfulness, and ask each other how we can be a better spouse in the upcoming year. Well, I wanted to take advantage of this day to list the links to the blog posts that I wrote last year telling the story of Rebekah's adoption. If you are new to our blog, I hope you read these posts and see God's faithfulness to our family in light of difficult circumstances. If you've followed the blog for a while and know the story of our struggles with infertility, I hope that you read these posts and remember God's steadfast care and provision for His children. 


Post 1 - http://samandlindsaycrosby.blogspot.com/2011/02/beginning.html
Post 2 - http://samandlindsaycrosby.blogspot.com/2011/02/shes-beautiful.html
Post 3 - http://samandlindsaycrosby.blogspot.com/2011/01/in-nurture-of-lord.html
Post 4 - http://samandlindsaycrosby.blogspot.com/2011/02/sad-times.html
Post 5 - http://samandlindsaycrosby.blogspot.com/2011/02/sweet-rebekah-love.html
Post 6 (Written by Sam) - http://samandlindsaycrosby.blogspot.com/2011/02/new-fathers-perspective.html


This Psalm is such a great reminder of God's steadfast love for His children, His reign over His creation, and His infinite faithfulness. I read this morning and it led me to praise our God for His character. 

         The Steadfast Love of the Lord

Shout for joy in the LORD, O you righteous!

Praise befits the upright.

Give thanks to the LORD with the lyre;

make melody to him with the harp of ten strings!

Sing to him a new song;

play skillfully on the strings, with loud shouts.

For the word of the LORD is upright,

and all his work is done in faithfulness.

He loves righteousness and justice;

the earth is full of the steadfast love of the LORD.

By the word of the LORD the heavens were made,

and by the breath of his mouth all their host.

He gathers the waters of the sea as a heap;

he puts the deeps in storehouses.

Let all the earth fear the LORD;

let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of him!

For he spoke, and it came to be;

he commanded, and it stood firm.

The LORD brings the counsel of the nations to nothing;

he frustrates the plans of the peoples.

The counsel of the LORD stands forever,

the plans of his heart to all generations.

Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD,

the people whom he has chosen as his heritage!

The LORD looks down from heaven;

he sees all the children of man;

from where he sits enthroned he looks out

on all the inhabitants of the earth,

he who fashions the hearts of them all

and observes all their deeds.

The king is not saved by his great army;

a warrior is not delivered by his great strength.

The war horse is a false hope for salvation,

and by its great might it cannot rescue.

Behold, the eye of the LORD is on those who fear him,

on those who hope in his steadfast love,

that he may deliver their soul from death

and keep them alive in famine.

Our soul waits for the LORD;

he is our help and our shield.

For our heart is glad in him,

because we trust in his holy name.

Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us,

even as we hope in you.

           

                Psalm 33:1-22 ESV 

You didn't think I would leave this post without pictures did you? Though these aren't from this month, they are some of my favorite pictures from the last year (taken Oct. 2011) and totally embody Rebekah's personality.

So That The Works Of God Might Be Displayed

Cancer. It's a word evokes all types of emotions. For me, that word most often produces fear and anxiety. Those were the emotions that came screaming out from the depths of my heart (you know, the place you try to keep them suppressed thinking that if you do that they will just go away) when my sweet friend Cari wrote to tell me that she found a mass in her breast, and then later when I received the e-mail confirming that she did, in fact, have breast cancer. She is young, healthy, has a husband who loves her dearly, and 3 sweet little boys. My first instinct was to think that this is so unfair and to question the Lord in His choice to allow this disease to come to Cari. But, the Lord, in His kindness and mercy gently brought to mind the verse that I so often claim for my own "life verse" (if you believe in such things). In the book of John chapter 9 in the Bible, Jesus and his disciples encounter a man who was born blind. The disciples asked Jesus who had sinned that the blindness was brought upon the man, the man or his parents. Jesus' answer was that neither the man or his parents were at fault, but he was born blind so that the "works of God might be displayed in him." (John 9:3-4). After this conversation with his disciples Jesus went to work and healed the man. When the man returned to town with his sight healed, the people of the town had a hard time believing that this was the same man. This was, after all, the same man who they had previously seen begging for help. When the man was asked by the Pharisees (who were trying to cause trouble for Jesus because he healed on a Sabbath, a day of rest) who healed him, his response was glorious. He said he could not call Jesus a sinner because he healed him and could only speak to the work Jesus had done on the man's behalf. The man was eventually cast out of the synagogue. When Jesus heard of this he found the man and asked him, "Do you believe in the Son of Man?' He answered, 'And who is he, sir, that I may believe in him?' Jesus said to him, 'You have seen him, and it is he who is speaking to you.' He said, 'Lord, I believe,' and he worshiped him." (John 9:35-38).


This man experienced both physical healing and a spiritual birth or life that day. This man was blind from the day he entered this world, "from birth". It was no fault of his own that this happened to him but only so that God's mighty, miraculous healing could take place so that other people would see or hear what happened and believe. I also think that it happened so that many years later I would read it and find encouragement in God's plan for my life! More importantly, and perhaps more miraculously, was the work that was done to this man spiritually because he was dead and Christ gave him life. This is such a great example of how spiritual life is brought about. You must know that the Lord is the one who brings it, that it's not of any work you can do. You must see your need for such a work of God in your own heart, believe that He has done such a redeeming work for you on the cross by paying the penalty that you deserve as a law breaker and sinner, and then live in such a way that worships God and acknowledges that He has brought you from death to life. (Read here if you have more questions about that or you leave a comment with your contact info and I'd be glad to talk with you more if you'd like).


You may ask why I joke and say that this is my "life verse". Well, let me tell you. When I was 1 yr old I was diagnosed with spinal meningitis and spent quite a while in the NICU (so I'm told). This disease almost killed me and it left me without hearing in my right ear. At the age of 9 yrs old I was diagnosed with type I, or juvenile, diabetes. After a week-long stay in the hospital I began the regimen of taking daily injections of insulin to keep me alive and later, after getting up to 5 injections per day, changed to wearing a semi-permanent insulin pump (it's like having a constant IV in my abdomen). In my college years I was diagnosed with vitiligo, most commonly known because it's the disease that turned Michael Jackson's skin to a pale color (the body attacks the pigment in the skin and leaves it a very white color). Vitiligo is not a life threatening disease,  but it has definitely caused me to deal with vanity and pride issues. Most recently, we found out that the reason Sam and I have been unable to get pregnant over the last 4 years is because I have endometirosis and adenomyosis. Over the last 6 months I've taken a hormone injection for treatment. Just recently we learned that the treatment looks like it worked, but will only last 2 years at most and a hysterectomy is the only final treatment for these diseases. I don't say these things for attention. I don't say them to get pity. I don't even say them so you will be encouraged with everything I have dealt with and think that it will be good inspiration for your struggles. I say them because I want to be used by God and want it to be said of me that all of these things happened so that the "works of God might be displayed" in my life. The God of the universe, the one who created me and everything else in existence, is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow and He has allowed for these things to become a part of my life so that He can work through them. There is nothing that I could have done to prevent any of these diseases. There is nothing that anyone could have done. God, in His all knowing and all powerful will, saw fit to allow me to have these things and I can only pray that it is not for my sanctification only. I pray that the Lord uses these diseases and the life situations caused by them to bring glory and honor to Himself so that the word of His Gospel goes forth to ears that are ready and willing to hear and hearts that know their spiritual death and are ready to receive the spiritual life that only God can give. For me, He does this by reminding me that He is faithful in all of life's circumstances, that my joy should not be found in the things of this world but in the saving work of Jesus on the cross for my sin, and that my body is always feeling the effects of a fallen world that has sin permeating through it and can only be redeemed by the saving work of Jesus' shed blood for me.  I know my friend Cari would say the same. God is faithful and, if you are a Christian, He will continue the good work He began and will see you through to the end (Philippians 1:6).


If you would like to know more about Cari's trial with breast cancer you can read her blog here. There is also a donation fund that has been set up in her name that you can donate to. This fund will help pay for the many medical bills that their family will encounter as Cari begins her treatment of this disease. Click here to make a donation to help the Vincent family. If you are a Christian, you can pray. Pray for her to have peace and patience as she waits on our good and faithful God to continue the work He began in her and as she seeks to allow God to display His work in her.

A mom who faces infertility

Meg and B.J. King are our friends from our church. They are a part of that support system/crew that I've talked about in previous blog posts and came to Rebekah's adoption.

Meg is the 4th adult on the back row (center of the picture)

Well, Meg has a great resource blog called 31 fields and for the month of March she's posting an interview each day with someone she knows. Today she posted an interview she did with a mom who faces infertility... ME! You can check it out here. If you have trouble clicking the link you can cut and paste this one: http://31fields.com/31-voices-lindsay-crosby-a-mom-who-faces-infertility/


Hope you enjoy the interview and are encouraged by God's goodness and faithfulness to our family!

Lindsay